Dirty Talk: The Ultimate Guide to Talking Dirty And 50+ Ideas

Choose a Girl

She wants to have sex more frequently, but it just doesn’t cross her mind all that often. In order to avoid a bit of embarrassment if you’re new to this, just whisper these things in your partner’s ear. Get close, wrap yourself around them when you’re penetrating or being penetrated, and say something soft and slow in their ear, even one of the dirty talk examples we mentioned earlier.

And you’re somewhere private

• You can do it with a long-term lover or a one-night stand.
• You will most likely need to whisper these dirty ideas and lines in your man’s ears.
• The brain is considered a more powerful sexual organ than even male and female genitalia because it’s where sex drive stems from.

It may help any squeamishness you feel to reframe it as an exercise in vulnerability. Talking erotically is supposed to feel new, even a little scary! The use of words, sounds, and noises during sexual activity to give and get consent, instruct, construct a fantasy, build arousal or tension, and ultimately enhance connection between you and your partner(s). Dirty talk is pretty intimidating when you’re worried about how you might sound or if your partner is going to laugh. Communication is at the heart of every sexual connection. If you’ve never engaged in dirty talk with your partner before, you may not know how they feel about it.

Relationships

It is often referred to as a kink or fetish, meaning that for a lot of people (like myself) sound is an important part of their sexual experience. Could this explain why I like using blindfolds in bed so I can rely exclusively on my ears to carry me through to nirvana? Kink or not, sound can be a vital part of sex and incorporating even a touch of theatrics could go a long way.

Although men and women tend to differ slightly in erotic talk preferences, overall, there are some similarities in the data for both. Both men and women reported high levels of enjoyment for mutualistic talk (higher than individualistic talk). For dirty talk to be successful, it has to be tit for tat. Both people should do it so there’s no sort of animosity or resentment or power struggle. Dirty talk gives people permission to surrender to their deepest, darkest, wildest fantasies. Sex is supposed to be dirty, erotic, and most of all fun.

Dr. Jess O’Reilly, resident sexologist for Astroglide, adds that dirty talk is also a great way to build anticipation and cultivate consent—both before and during intimacy. While talking about what you want to do, what you plan on doing, or how you’re feeling in the moment, you and your partner can get a better sense of where the boundaries are and make sure you’re on the same page. Dirty talk may feel strange at first as you pick your brain for the perfect dirty things to say to your partner.

This is more likely if you have limited experience or knowledge in the practice. Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a queer sex educator and wellness journalist who is committed to helping people feel the best they can in their bodies. In addition to Healthline, her work has appeared in publications such as Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Health, Self, Women’s Health, Greatist, and more!

If literature and audio aren’t your thing, you can also simply turn to your favorite movies or TV shows for inspiration. Just fast-forward to your favorite sex scenes and pull a few ideas from there to bring into your own dirty talk and play. “Because dirty talk can increase arousal, it can also make an orgasm more intense,” says Buehler. But if the timing does feel right, dirty talk is a great way to increase both your emotional and physical connection.

Maybe you think that talking dirty means acting in a way that isn’t true to your character. Or you’re worried you’ll end up tongue-tied and won’t know what to say. Or perhaps the entire concept of it is just really embarrassing to you. For many people, the thought of talking dirty during sex can be especially daunting. As you can see, dirty talk fantasies are quite common—and there is a very rich psychology behind them.